I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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