all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
