u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude i'm inner monologue high
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
