Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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