Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
