Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
