Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's blow job season.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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