Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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