I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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