Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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