Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
