"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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