So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
