i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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