We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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