I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
