Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
