i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
whose parrot is this?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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