Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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