you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
