What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
