sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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