Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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