You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
