Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
