yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
