they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
