so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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