i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
