i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
