Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
