Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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