how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
