i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this will be a night to untag.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
