i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
