Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
