Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
