I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
