think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
