you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
