I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
