We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
