they need to just BURY HIM!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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