you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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