I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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