I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
