Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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