So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
