I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
