is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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