i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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