Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
