we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
