nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize