so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
