we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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