I swear she didn't look like that last week.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
