totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
