I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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