I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
