she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
