I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
