He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
