How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
