There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The feeling are messing with the penis
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
