well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
